Subscribein the pitch black dawn in my room
the rain is still slightly drizzling and the thunder is storming
"what in the world was dat??" i said while recalling
a weird dream i had about getting married to zombies
"heck i must be playing too much computer games"
 |
| Me as a zombie groom =p |
As i change into my good suite
I grab the closest umbrella my hand could reach
opened the door and took one step out the door
and little did i know
the world was no longer the world i was knew
den den den....
 |
| sooo dam freaking quiet... |
"W...T...F..................OMG...!!!"
I opened my eyes as big as i could and slap myself
afew hundred of times b4 i realize that this was no dream
this...
was...............
REALITY!!!
den den den
Cars over turned,
water hydrants bursting in every possible corner
The streets as empty as the Sahara dessert
with silence which a pin drop could be heard a mile away
the sky was gloomy
the atmosphere was still moist from the drizzle
and not a living thing in sight...
what the heck happened over night dang it....
I rushed back into my house
and flipped through the mountain loads of newspaper
i never once did bother to read
just in hopes i would finally understand what in gods grace is going on
.......
in times like this we start to wonder....
is this really gods grace????
and then something hit me....
this freaking newspaper is blank!!!!
What is going on!! dam it
i swear to god that i pay rm1.50 a day for my newspaper!!
unless i have been spending rm1.50 a day for a stack of empty paper
.....hmmm....and then again its me we are talking a bout
6foot tall slightly too big to be buff male
and above all
....bird brained....
Yes u got that right
my name is Herrbert....New Herrbert
i am a proud citizen of Pigeonvill and right now
i dont get a shit of what the heck is happening here dam it
i tell you its probably some sort of government conspiracy gone bad dang it
 |
| Pigeonvill's logo.... ps: picture taken from google, |
"might as well go outside and take a look for myself"
and with that, herrbert went to his store closet to bring out
his prized rusted katana which has been passed down
through generations in his family of bird brain morrons
who thinks being entau and posing with a katana
make chicks dig him...(ps: herrbert u need a reality check..=p)
 |
| Yeaaa girls dig my crazy style yeeha |
2 hours down walking down the dark and lanky streets
the sun has already rise but still below the horizon
I tread carefully down the quiet streets with my katana in check
with the nerves to slice anything that jumps out on me
for god knows what lies in this god forsaken place
beggers,muggers,rapist,murderers .....or worst still...hippies!!!
As we walk down the city,
the city complexities starts to unravel
we notice that most of the cars are jammed at the roads
leading out of the city
and it looked as in everyone either left their car and made a ran for it
or everyone just got abducted by aliens....
or worsts till...clowns......
Still as absent minded as ever
the cause of this mysterious sudden evaporation of people
has yet to show itself but one thing is for certain..
something has happen....(duh -,-)
While lost in the infinity of thoughts...which i must admit
is rare because i have birdbrains.....
I heard a sound...
it came from just a few feet away from me
a low almost inaudible groaning sound..
...which now u think of it sounds like a moan...
heck is that why everybody is so well hidden??
their jacking off somewhere nearby but in close quarters??
Just as my head starts to drift off to fantasy land again
the moan started to get louder....heck are this people really jacking?
No....
this aint the sound that people make when they are at
the pinnacle of excitement
Heck no...
this was the sound of a sexual predator aiming its prey...
OMG am i being stalked by a rapist in the midst of apocalypse!!!
two senarios ran in my head now...
either run away like a pansy...
or to stand my ground and fight like a man
..to either rid the world of this filth...
..or to lose and get raped...which to bert isnt such a bad thing after all =p
and so the choice was clear
gripping my sword tighter
I tried to remember a stance my old man though me
something bout pushing your chest to the front
left arm to your head
right arm to your waist
and hips to the left......oh wait thats the hiao po pose lol
Not a second too soon after readjusting myself
from that pose....which might have excited the "sexual predator"
It lunge for me from the hinds of the car
As it flew it the air,
time felt as if it slowed down for me
for once i remembered all the nonsence my dad used to told me
about feeling the movements of your enemy
and when the time comes
u slice it with the katana....
just as i was bout to slice the thing with my katana
a devilish though came to my head
"why am i trying to kill it when this might be the only time i get
to get bang....hmm"
the hesitation cost me dearly...
as my blade flew down and touched the temple of that thing
overcomed by hesitation
the thing took advantage and swipe my blade aside with its left hand
and hooked me with his right
"this is it!! i am getting banged!!'
this words ran through my head!!
but then he did something unexpected
he hissed and and opened its mouth in a gargantuan proportion
and then ready to get a nice chunk of herrbert stake
F.R.E.S.H
now now...
i can take alot of crap in my life
i can be called bird brains
i can be called moron
you can kick me
screw me
and heck even bang me
But YOU!!
Yea you!!!
trying to take a bite
out of my very big and birdish body
is crossing the line pal!
And with that said
I clutched its head
with both of my hands
and peeled it away from my throat just b4 it manage
to plunge its filthy teeth into my beautiful trachea
Just as i did that
i got a really good glimpse of its face...
this was no serial rapist...
.....
if it was i wouldn't be surprise because by how ugly its face is
nobody in their right mind...or who has a mind as a matter of fact
would wanna do him at all =.=
it was UGLY!!!
imagine a decomposing corpse which was left to rot
6feet under your feet for the past few months and was suddenly
brought back up to earth and resuscitated ...
its faced was filled with scars
pus boiling up and popping from the back corners of its face
visible scratch and bite marks were visible all over its body
it was a sight not even a mother could love
 |
| look at the fugly face dammit!! |
The fagot-ish thing took advantage of my sudden shock
and used its free left arm to grab one of my arms which was
griping strongly at its slimy gooey and disgusting face
popping a few pus filled boiled as my fingers skidded off
its face while being pulled by it...
I swung my hand as hard as i can in the direction it was pulling
to make it lose its grip onto my arms
and then as quick as my birdish reflexes would allow me
i used my left arm to grab its leg and push it down
while at the same time kneeing it right in its guts
and then with all my force i grab its left arm with my right
and elbowed him right through the flow
automatically dislocating his arm
...yea that would do it for now!!
all those time defending myself from adrian lau's squeamish taekwandoh
attacks finally brought some benefits haha..thanks adrian
I went closer to the now unconscious piece of meat that lied in front of me
to get a closer look at the horrendous thing that just attack me
just as i reach for its head,
its un-dislocated arm reach out for my leg and pulled
causing me to fall back wards.....dam these things
wont it ever give up!!
while struggling to get it to let lose of its grip
a very unsettling sound was heard....
more moaning are starting to make itself present
from all corners of the area
....
and the worst part of it is...
...
its getting louder
..
My heart started pumping like crazy..
"THERES MORE OF THIS FUGLY CREATURES!!!??"
cold sweat start to trickle down my spine
cold Chiles start to breath up my skull
and there i lie
frozen in my sight...
there was not merely one...nor 2...nor 3...
but there is a HOARD of fugly creatures
who are now closing onto me
whom is still being held tight
by this dang thing!!!
At the corner of my eyes
i saw my katana glimmering to me
as if a message and a blessing from god himself
i reached out for my katana
and with all my might
i swung it right at the freaking thing that was grabing my leg
nicely slicing its head in half...HAH!!! take dat fugly!!
The threat is not over....
there is still the rest to over come.....
My head now too tired to think anymore
the choice was either to give in and be raped
or hack and slash my way out or get raped trying
either way...Only one thing is for certain
....
...
..
i am gona be raped..
..
..
...
And with that
i thrust my sword in the sky
like some sort of ancient samurai warrior
as if provoking the mindless fugly rapist things
preparing myself for a last stand
or maybe a LONG one night stand....
The adventure continues...when i am free teehee...
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